Dark Green: The Enviro-Goth Manifesto
While the media and general populace persist in associating environmentalism
with the hippie counterculture of the 60s and its contemporary survival,
we hereby proclaim this truth to be self-evident:
* * * Environmentalism is Intrinsically Gothic * *
*
Why is that, you ask? Well...
Hippies = peace, love & a happy anarcho-communist future
Environmentalists = doom, gloom & the end of the world as we know it
Any questions?
Why Goths should be Environmentalists:
- One more thing to get mopey about.
- If you shop at the By-the-Pound anyway, why not pretend it's out
of principle rather than because you're cheap?
- So you can wear one of those nifty Earth First! T-shirts with the
skull and crossed monkeywrenches (of course it comes in black!).
- Nature is red in tooth and claw.
- A werewolf can kick a vampire's butt any day.
Why Environmentalists should be Goths:
- Black clothes need to be washed in cold water, thereby saving energy.
- Docs are more practical than Birkenstocks for hiking.
- Nobody really looks good in plaid.
- Folk music sucks.
- You're already depressed, so why not make it a fashion statement?
Potential Areas of Tension (and Possible Solutions):
- Going outdoors, at least in the daytime, involves exposure to sunlight.
(Solution: SPF 40 and a Tenebrae
parasol)
- PVC is not exactly biodegradable (Solution: there's some great fetwear
available in recycled rubber).
- Dark colours attract mosquitoes. (Solution: all right, we're still
working on that one!).
- All that makeup and hair dye isn't exactly environmentally friendly
(Solution: cruelty-free products and black henna).
- Body piercings can be really inconvenient when getting arrested
at protests (Solution: give'em time to heal before you do something
arrest-worthy, and leave your jewelry with the support team).
Got any thoughts on this topic? Send'em
in! We will credit everyone whose contributions we end up using.
|
